Hello, I'm Jazel. I'm on most social media platforms as @JazelTWY. I have had this space since 2008, and I see it as a outlet for my thoughts, when short status updates or instagram captions won't cut it. It's a public private space, of sorts. Comments?



 As I grow older as the days goes by,
It's either I'm finding myself or losing myself.

Losing the old me, finding the new me.
What if the old me was the real me?


Today during maths test.
I think I scared Sarah.
Hahaa.
Been a long time.. 

Since last year's SYF peroid..


I was so mad.
Lent my calculator to someone,
She didn't return it to me,
Only realized at the start of the maths test.
It affected me so much.

I was panicking.
I never felt so unprepared in my whole life.
It was just an ungraded test and I was panicking like never before.
I don't see myself panicking like this for exams..

I even started banging my head against the table.
But I think it was a mixture of things.
Why would I become like this just because some idiot didn't return me my calculator.
Hm.
Yesterday's horrible mood.
I felt so burdened.
Like there was something there, but I didn't know how to get rid of it.

Today.
I screwed up my custard.
I felt like a failure.

During Chemistry.
I felt so embarrassed.
I always feel embarrassed.
Like i'm sorry i'm failing chem even though you have done so much to help me/us.
But I felt like he hated me ):
I feel that all teachers hates me actually.
Haha.
Thats why I'm really happy when someone actually says something good to me.
Cause it kind of changes my mind for that instant.
I really think all teachers are secretly wishing I wasn't in their class.
Why do that stupid girl exist.

I was really high in the morning,
I told Sarah and pris(? dk if she heard) that I was going to be really sad later.
Cause when I'm high and happy, I will be ): for the next few hours.
Yeah. I know myself yes.

Such bad days.
I never cracked under pressure.
So why now?

don't wanna wake up.
Hopefully tomorrow would be a better day.
Really.
I'm sick of feeling like this.
I can't just stop randomly now cause it's already there.
Hopefully it won't even appear tomorrow.


this sucks i shall blog somewhere else bye.



Look at where I screwed up. May 2008June 2008July 2008August 2008September 2008October 2008November 2008December 2008January 2009February 2009March 2009April 2009May 2009June 2009July 2009August 2009September 2009October 2009November 2009December 2009January 2010February 2010March 2010April 2010May 2010July 2010August 2010September 2010October 2010November 2010December 2010January 2011March 2011April 2011June 2011July 2011August 2011October 2011November 2011December 2011January 2012February 2012April 2012May 2012June 2012July 2012August 2012September 2012October 2012November 2012December 2012January 2013February 2013March 2013April 2013May 2013June 2013July 2013August 2013September 2013October 2013November 2013December 2013January 2014February 2014March 2014April 2014May 2014June 2014July 2014August 2014September 2014October 2014November 2014January 2015February 2015April 2015May 2015June 2015July 2015August 2015September 2015October 2015November 2015December 2015January 2016February 2016April 2016May 2016July 2016August 2016November 2016March 2017April 2017September 2017October 2017November 2017December 2017May 2018November 2018December 2018April 2019June 2019March 2020July 2020November 2020January 2021June 2024 Layout by ▲ ADITHI.